For those readers you followed me from my old blog , you know that one of the things I have struggled with is the eating disorder bulimia. Although, I have not had an episode in nearly 4 years, I have still struggled with the underlying issues that led to my disorder – obsession with what foods I eat, working out, feeling bad if I ate something unhealthy.
Since M and I have been together he has helped to me to shift my focus from a # of the scale or a size on a clothing label to just being healthy. And for him being healthy means not obsessing about the numbers, enjoying a piece of cake if he wants eat, moving more if his jeans get snug. I’ve been working to adopt his mentality, but haven’t felt like I was getting anywhere close to that place, until yesterday.
The hospital that I work for opened our new 2nd floor addition yesterday, complete with ribbon cutting ceremony and lots of yummy foods. Pre-M, I would have calculated the calories in each hors d’oeuveres, avoided everything but the fruit and veggies, and not had a piece of celebratory cake. Instead, I had small samples of each yummy item, went heavier on the fruits and veggies, and had my piece of cake. The best part was that I ate and didn’t feel bad about it afterwards. I didn’t dash back to my office to tally the calorie damage and estimate how long I would have to work out to burn off the calories I had consumed. And I didn’t skip dinner to offset the meal either.
Instead, I did the 20 minutes of step aerobics that I had planned on doing prior to the festivities, ate a reasonable supper, and felt good in my own skin. And that’s a HUGH accomplishment for me!